National Lampoons Christmas Vacation

I thought I'd post some quotes from one of my favorite Christmas movies.

Clark: Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace.

Aunt Bethany: [turns to Lewis] What, dear?

Nora Griswold: Grace!

Aunt Bethany: Grace? She passed away thirty years ago.

Uncle Lewis: They want you to say Grace. [Bethany shakes her head in confusion]

Uncle Lewis: The BLESSING!

Aunt Bethany: [they all pose for prayer] I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands/ One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Clark: Amen.

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Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?

Clark: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.

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Ellen: What are you looking at?

Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer... [Eddie, in the driveway, is draining the RV's toilet]

Eddie: Shitter was full.

Clark: Ah, yeah. You checked our shitters, honey?

Ellen: Clark, please. He doesn't know any better.

Clark: He oughta know it's illegal. That's a storm sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity the person who lights a match within ten yards of it.

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Clark: Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?

Eddie: Naw, I'm doing just fine, Clark.

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Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?

Clark: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.

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Uncle Lewis: Hey Grizz, Bethany and I figured out the perfect gift for you.

Clark: Aw, you didn't have to get me anything.
Uncle Lewis: Dammit, Bethany, he guessed it.

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Bethany: Don't throw me down, Clark.

Clark: I'll try not to, Aunt Bethany...